Privilege is such an interesting topic. I had the opportunity today to chaperone a retreat for high school students called Community 360. The retreat is basically a cultural competency crash course- focusing on prejudice, discrimination and leadership. It was unique in that the retreat is designed to be peer led. There was really only one adult who spoke to the high school retreatants, the rest of the teachers and staff passively watched and learned. I had an interesting discussion after leaving Friday night (the retreat was 2 days, but due to prior commitments we could only stay 1 night).
One of my friends tends to be a little off put by exercises such as the privilege walk and discussions around privilege because they always seem to bash the circumstances she was raised in. I’ve heard this argument from others as well. They feel their families are painted as “bad guys” just because they had relatively high paying jobs or the like. They don’t see a problem with working in a fulfilling career and spending money in such a way as to afford the family wonderful opportunities. I totally get that. There is nothing wrong with earning money and spending it on worthwhile investments such as a nice house, good education, sports, music, etc. There’s nothing wrong with deciding to be a doctor or lawyer or CEO (what’s wrong is when people in those positions become corrupt). I also think that too often exercises and discussions on privilege do shame those with privilege into embarrassment and sometimes terrible guilt for no justifiable reason. HOWEVER, I also think there is something to be said for making people uncomfortable and challenging their boundaries. It’s not an easy thing to admit that your family has had the power or water shut off or that you’ve gone hungry. There’s a fair amount of shame involved in that, simply due to society’s perception that everyone, particularly parents, should be able to provide for themselves and their families. Being honest about such circumstances allows people to learn about the realities of the world and therefore has incredible worth. So, though talking about one’s upbringing requires incredible vulnerability and may initially bring feelings of shame, the discussion is invaluable. Only through this sort of learning will those in privilege (like myself) learn about worldly realities and hopefully want to commit to improving them. Only through this sort of learning do we learn not to judge each other and also remove the automatic feelings of shame society inflicts upon us. Is there a right way to go about these conversations and activities? Absolutely. Is it necessary to feel uncomfortable? Undoubtedly. The goal is to promote radical awareness and thereby begin the process for change.
One of my friends tends to be a little off put by exercises such as the privilege walk and discussions around privilege because they always seem to bash the circumstances she was raised in. I’ve heard this argument from others as well. They feel their families are painted as “bad guys” just because they had relatively high paying jobs or the like. They don’t see a problem with working in a fulfilling career and spending money in such a way as to afford the family wonderful opportunities. I totally get that. There is nothing wrong with earning money and spending it on worthwhile investments such as a nice house, good education, sports, music, etc. There’s nothing wrong with deciding to be a doctor or lawyer or CEO (what’s wrong is when people in those positions become corrupt). I also think that too often exercises and discussions on privilege do shame those with privilege into embarrassment and sometimes terrible guilt for no justifiable reason. HOWEVER, I also think there is something to be said for making people uncomfortable and challenging their boundaries. It’s not an easy thing to admit that your family has had the power or water shut off or that you’ve gone hungry. There’s a fair amount of shame involved in that, simply due to society’s perception that everyone, particularly parents, should be able to provide for themselves and their families. Being honest about such circumstances allows people to learn about the realities of the world and therefore has incredible worth. So, though talking about one’s upbringing requires incredible vulnerability and may initially bring feelings of shame, the discussion is invaluable. Only through this sort of learning will those in privilege (like myself) learn about worldly realities and hopefully want to commit to improving them. Only through this sort of learning do we learn not to judge each other and also remove the automatic feelings of shame society inflicts upon us. Is there a right way to go about these conversations and activities? Absolutely. Is it necessary to feel uncomfortable? Undoubtedly. The goal is to promote radical awareness and thereby begin the process for change.
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