Discernment (It's a long and personal one)

I think it’s been a little less than a month since the last time I wrote. This is not for lack of  thoughts or happenings. In fact, the exact opposite, lack of time. 

I’m writing today because I got hit hard in spiritual direction over the weekend. I’ve been struggling for basically the past year (and, actually, most of my life) to figure out God’s call. For me, that’s lodged somewhere between medicine and ministry. I feel called to medicine for a couple days and then flip to ministry for a few and then back. I wrestled with the two for several months around this time last year and then was given the wise advice to simply rest with the decision in God’s presence. It was hard at first, but eventually it got easier. I still had occasional panic attacks about what I was doing with my life, but they became much less frequent (short blips of time rather than a continuous state). I had entered this year in JVC as a “year of jubilee” (credit to my previous spiritual director), ready to feel out the ministry side of myself that I had never experienced professionally. But things never really work out as you planned. I told Fr. Steve, my current spiritual director, earlier this year that one of the things I’ve struggled with was this vocational decision. That came to a pinnacle this weekend. 

The problemS with education

Apparently, one of the smartest things I’ve ever said: Education is a problem because we just throw a bunch of kids together. Mike and I were having a conversation today about education’s downfalls. He was positing that one of the biggest problems was the lack of quality professional development teachers get. He makes a good point. We just received the results of our teacher surveys and we have weak professional development. He pointed out that the graduate level class he was taking in his discipline  had completely changed many of his lesson plans. Something 7 years of professional development had failed to accomplish. Big problem, but not the biggest in my opinion. 

Science in the classroom

My principal has me observing (not shadowing- silly medical language) a bunch of different teachers in the building to get an idea of different teaching models. One of the teachers I had the opportunity to observe is Mr. Snow. He teaches biology and anatomy. The class I observed was freshmen biology. They were working on worksheets and while I expected to just passively observe, Mr. Snow had me up and working with students in a matter of minutes. It was so fun! Teaching the periodic table was awesome. It’s such a nice contrast from theology- something concrete and easy to explain. I was actually really surprised by how much I enjoyed the experience. I thought I was falling into much more of a groove with theology without missing science, but I guess that wasn’t the case! I offered my help to Mr. Snow anytime he needed it and he said he would take me up on that. Since then I’ve help with 2 labs, which was a blast. Yay for discerning! 

City on a Hill

For those of you that don’t know the long and arduous story of how I finally decided to participate in JVC, ask me some other time. For those of you that do know, you’ll know that City on a Hill (the Catholic young adult group in KC) was a big reason for me to come to KC. Well we attended our first official CoH gathering today! Ironically, it was also the first gathering for CoH’s brand new director. We had adoration (which was a rather interesting Anglican ceremony of some sort- we got there late) and then Dave, the new director, gave a talk. It was a wonderful evening with a great turnout. I’m definitely looking forward to being a part of this community!

Soccer

Firstly, I would just like to acknowledge how awesome the game of soccer is. In what other sport can you have true pickup games in? The only thing it really requires is a ball, ideally 2 goals and a couple field markers. I’ve been fortunate enough to finally find a league in KC, and even better, it’s free! We play every Tue night up on top of a beautiful hill. It’s a coed league that draws quite the crowd- by the end of the night we’re usually playing 15 v 15. It’s so much fun. 

Secondly, I would like to say how much fun it is to coach soccer. There is no better way to give back to a sport that’s given me so much than pass on my knowledge and experience. Oh yeah, it’s frustrating at times, but so worth it in the end. The absolute joy on your player’s face when she finally masters a technique or scores a goal or makes a play is priceless. Which is why I’m so excited to help coach the Bishop Ward team! I’m also excited to know the girls in a different capacity. This week they had a meeting for the soccer team, in which the coach mentioned I’d be helping coach. The girls came back from the meeting and started talking to me about soccer and asking me what position I played, etc, etc. Even one student, who’s attitude toward me had previously been pretty hostile, was asking questions. Coaching increased my street cred with the students! (Future teachers take note.) So pumped for preseason. 

Homecoming

You know how in college homecoming is a weekend of festivities? Well think back to your high school days... when it was a week long. We had dress down days all week: college day, twin day, black and white day (school colors), decade day (50s for the senior class), and dress up day (Mass). There was the pepfest on Wed night: an hour of homecoming court introductions, a cheerleader routine, parade of the floats (oh yes, each class made floats- not something we did in high school), and speeches on behalf of all fall sports teams. Not to mention Homecoming Mass, which is an entire event requiring careful orchestration. I had been warned to abbreviate lessons this week and make them a little less intense, because there was simply no way to retain students’ attention. Fortunately, my class is in the afternoon. While many other teachers I talked to had problems with keeping their students behaving and on task, I had no problems. I think probably by the time the students got to me they were too tired to try anything. 

Though I’m not an avid football fan and had not been to a game yet this season, I decided to stay for the homecoming game on Friday night. It was a blast! I watched with a couple of teachers until halftime and then we all went out to a local bar. We just chilled for a bit- conversing about politics, theology, and beer among other things (conversations of champions). It also happened that Friday was the first major storm we’ve experienced in KC! So we pulled the get-soaked-running-from-the-bar-to-the-car move on our way out. :) Great night. Have I mentioned how awesome my teaching community is?

Fundraising Weekend

This weekend we were a part of 3 different fundraisers. Friday night we were part of Donnelly College’s Fund-a-Scholar. It was a rather fancy affair held at an historical air museum. A catered dinner and open bar. We were able to go and enjoy the evening before helping with cleanup. They managed to raise the $300,000 they needed to fill the gap between their income and expenses, which was amazing. People were donating $10,000 at a time. 

On Saturday night I worked at Bishop Ward’s Auction, which was cool. In previous years, the auction has been held at a rather fancy hotel with everything in one room. This year, to cut expenses, they decided to host the event at the school. This means the teachers spent about half the day on Friday (no school for the students) setting up. Well, it paid off because it looked pretty good Saturday night. There were a couple hiccups in the evening (trying to make students be social and welcoming is a little difficult), but overall it was a lovely event. Probably the best part was hanging out with my fellow teachers. Once we got off duty we were able to enjoy ourselves. We spectated the live auction (they talk so fast and it’s such a detailed system!), shared some fried food (yes, they did hire a food truck for the end of the night), and then left. They are a great group of people. I could not have asked for a more supportive and wonderful work community. 

Sunday we volunteered at the parish picnic. The weather was absolutely beautiful and the food was delicious. We had the opportunity to eat with Fr. Steve, who is an absolute riot and tells the best stories. He made up a song to the tune of the closing hymn of Mass about burgers and hot dogs. We helped the parish clean-up after the picnic, which resulted in us bringing home a rather large box of leftovers. The generosity of this community is boundless.