The Privilege Walk

Let’s talk about the Privilege Walk mentioned above. Celia and I had both had it in college, and we thought it would be a great activity for our unit on Life and Dignity of the Human Person. And can I just say... spot. on. There are so many things these students have experienced that I would never have dreamed of. Students that went hungry, have been questioned by the police, have been a victim of violence, don’t have supportive parents, etc. To see the spread of them and also hear their discussion afterward has been incredible. Probably the most poignant stories are the ones of close friends who had absolutely no idea that they came from such different circumstances. Some of the more privileged students expressed their gratitude for their fortunate circumstances and also mentioned the admiration they had for their friends and classmates who came from a lot less, but had similar achievements to themselves. The less privileged students said they felt less alone and also appreciated the space to be honest about their life outside of school. The students really impressed me with their honesty and unity. I barely, if at all, had to lead them to the conclusions that these circumstances were not choices and they didn’t affect how much someone was worth now. 

That beautiful 10 letter word

Discipline, such a wonderful thing. In the aftermath of yesterday, I went searching for advice on classroom management. I knew enough to know I didn’t know enough. Celia, my team-teacher, suggested keeping the class over for every minute I had to wait for them. I like this idea, but it would only be appropriate for times during which the entire class was noisy. Mary, who has a reputation for austerity and severity after 28 years in theology at Ward, gave me all sorts of advice. I could send students to her room during class, and she would discipline them (read, humiliate and punish). She gave me these business cards, bathroom passes that allow a student to leave only 3 times during the semester. She also suggested calling parents of misbehaving students (which Renee and Annie also suggested). 

Well today these ideas became reality. One of my students, precious child of God, is the ringleader of misbehavior. He enjoys being the class clown and has an affinity for ignoring whatever I tell him to do. Today that all came to a stop. We did the Privilege Walk in our class today, which is a serious and sensitive exercise that asks about familial circumstances and experiences. I warned students that I would not tolerate any disruption or disrespect (talking, laughing, giggling, etc), due to the gravity of this exercise. The first act would result in a visit with Mr. Duggins, our Academic Dean. Of course, this student, precious child of God, was the first one to laugh, or rather smirk. So, I sent him to Mr. Duggins. Not that he went the first time I told him, but eventually he did. (P.S. The best advice I’ve been given about teaching is to act like you’re in control and that the classroom will behave exactly how you expect it to. Works like a charm.) After much prodding from Annie, I also decided to follow up with a phone call home, which was awkward, but effective. Discipline FTW. 

An unruly tidal wave

Today I learned what it’s like to have an out of control classroom. I’m standing at the front of the room, knowing my class is on the verge of being lost. My 20 seniors, who are supposed to be talking with their assigned partners about rules for respectful classroom discussion, are clearly distracted. In an effort to curtail the noise level, currently rising like an unruly tidal wave, I visit each pair. Without aggressive scolding or yelling, I try to guide each student back to the topic. My seeds yield little fruit, however, so I decide it’s time to call the group to attention. Easier said than done. After battling with the class-wide side conversation for a minute, I decide to wait for silence and glare reprovingly at the perpetrators. This strategy takes at least 2 whole minutes to achieve results, during which time I catch the faces and looks every teacher dreads: my best students are bored, unengaged, and frustrated with my lack of classroom discipline. After dejectedly relaying the last of the classroom discussion rules, I give in and show a video for the last 10 minutes of class. The bell rings, and I’m left with abject disappointment in my students and exhaustive frustration at my ineffectiveness. Tomorrow, there will be order or serious consequences. 

Baseball

Today I learned about baseball. I know that if you’re my family, or anything like my family, you probably just cringed. Baseball is not, and never has been, my sport. I don’t like playing, and I don’t particularly like watching, because of the minimal activity level. It’s simply not exciting for me to spend three hours watching one person throw a ball and one person swing a bat. I’m not trying to insult anyone who enjoys the sport, I’m simply trying to convey my viewpoint. Given this background, the fact that I spent 3 hours at a Royals game tonight is probably rather surprising. My community was fortunate enough to obtain free tickets to the event and so we went together! Fortunately, the weather was absolutely beautiful and the ballpark was really well-designed and quite wonderful (see pictures). The reason I learned so much about baseball was Aimee. This was her first baseball game ever! So we spent a good portion of the beginning of the game texting Ross all sorts of baseball questions, such as: What’s a good batting average? What are other ways to measure baseball greatness? What does RBI stand for and how do you calculate it? And so on. All in all, a great, late night! (Though it makes getting up at 6:45am difficult.)

The hard life of a teacher

Today I’m learning what it is like to be a disheartened teacher. More than anything this year, I want to impart an understanding and passion for social justice/theology in these students. I’m not overly concerned with memorizing minute details or arguing complex theological content. Most of all I want the students to grasp what social justice is and WANT to be able to apply it. The problem is they don’t have the tools or motivation to get there. I want to explore social justice with them, but they want to do just enough to get by in this class. We had our first test today. It was 50 points, 39 questions. It wasn’t easy, but almost all of it was exact words of what we had gone through in class. 4 students got a C or above, 7 failed it. My first instinct said this is a result of my teaching inexperience. I’m a poor teacher, and that’s why the students aren’t learning. However, after thinking about it a little more, I don’t think that’s really the case. Half these students came into my class whining about having a test or saying they forgot about the test (even though I mentioned it 3 times in our last class and had it written in huge, red letters on the whiteboard). Clearly, they didn’t study simply because they forgot or because they didn’t care to. That’s not poor teaching, that’s poor motivation. The problem is deciding my response. Do I play the TLC teacher and require students to take the initiative to improve their grades, at the very real risk of letting them fail? Or do I invest a lot of time and effort into understanding each student and really help them become motivated to do the work and receive good grades, at the risk of babying them into academic adequacy? The latter seems like the better option on paper, but I have serious doubts both about my efficacy in using that approach and the effect that approach will have on the students’ future educational endeavors. 

Clouds

Lindsay and I were made to be roommates. Today, we were at the symphony pops concert (which was great!) and while we were waiting for it to start, Lindsay and I were making silly conversation. When I say we, I mean mostly I, because I think I’m usually the one that starts being weird. However, Lindsay provides a strong second leg, so things usually progress relatively well. In this particular conversation, we started off pretty normal: talking about the sky not having a cloud in it (the weather was GORGEOUS). Which naturally transitions to Lindsay remarking about my great clown potential. I resented this statement, and told her as much, logically justifying that I have neither a red nose nor shoes 10 sizes too large. At which point Lindsay clarifies that I would make a good cloud. Proceed to deliberate about what kind of clouds we would like to be and what they should be named. Obviously the Rare Red-Nosed Cumulonimbukowski, in my case. 

Bennie For Life

Today I learned that CSB/SJU had a bigger impact on me than I imagined. I have never been one to be full of school spirit. Usually my dark, cynical side gets the better of me and I end up heavily criticizing my schools (all in the spirit of improvement- it’s not pure negativity). However, I’m realizing that I’ll always be proud of my educational institutions. It’s really hit home here in KC. I don’t really know anyone here, but the minute I find a Bennie or a Johnnie (and I’ve found several so far) there’s an instant connection. I’ve also had many proud moments lately because the St. John’s Bible is coming to Rockhurst. I’m finding so many opportunities to gush about CSB/SJU and the community there. It’s totally foreign and wonderful. :)